We made the choice to pause before we returned home on Saturday, and went for an afternoon stroll by a canal. The birds were singing and it was peaceful, giving us a chance to breathe.
There was a situation that had spiked through messages, and we had received another. This drama has been ongoing for years, with set patterns and behaviours, and we were at a loss on how to proceed.
We sipped coffee, pondered, discussed it calmly and decided to stop, draw a line, and step back.
Enough is enough.
If someone's words and actions cause emotional pain, and repeated attempts to discuss and debate the situation fail. Step back.
If someone's mind is barricaded into their truth. Then respect that and stop trying to change it. Step back.
If someone is repeatedly coming at you without a shred of love and respect. Step back.
If someone has taken a position you feel is unjust, that is their choice. Step back.
If someone has taken against you, then you will only cause yourself further harm by looking to them to heal the hurt. Step back.
If someone has swallowed the lies of others. Accept it. It only takes a few drops of acid to poison the whole well. Step back.
Each time you step into it to defend yourself, debate or discuss the facts, you create another wave. Step back.
All you can do is take responsibility for your involvement in the situation. Learn from accepting what you may have done to cause or contribute to what has unfolded. Then step back.
When we see things differently and heed the lessons from old patterns and behaviours, we can take steps forward with new thinking.
It is what it is.
We all have a basic need to be seen and understood and this can prompt us to keep beating ourselves by stepping into situations where we are never going to be seen or understood.
Stepping back is a loving choice and sometimes the only choice you can make. It may feel like a desperate act, but it is the only way to honour your boundaries.
In stepping back, you can step forward.
A pause, coffee and strolling cleared our energy, and we returned home refreshed.