Tim took this photograph when we visited the top of The Wirral to watch the sunset.
For us all, life has been tense and for some, this tension has been flowing through for a long time and has become the norm. I stood side by side with a funeral director yesterday, as we watched our family and congregation hug and chat after a service. This man is always calm and even when he’s asked if he’s busy, he replies,
‘No, it’s all calm and orderly.’
The twinkle in his eye tells a different story.
I watched him chat with some of the congregation he knows well, laugh at their jokes and make gentle ones of his own. His secret is the calm energy he flows to others, with no hint of drama or how much pressure he’s under.
I asked him if he ever got stressed or uptight and he shared his wisdom.
‘Stress is like a rocking chair. You can rock it like the clappers, and it gets you nowhere.’
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Tim and I are both busy with work and it’s a balancing act between responsibilities, attending meetings and taking services, making sure we have clean laundry, fresh food to eat and time to be creative and rest. Thank goodness for chunky fish fingers in the freezer is all I can say!
A few evenings ago, we were both exhausted and couldn’t manage any more noise, so we curled up together and both picked up our books. I was sure I’d be asleep in minutes, but instead, I got engrossed in my book, The Lost Bookshop, by Evie Woods. It is a beautifully written story and everything fell away while I was reading, and I felt Tim relax beside me.
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I am known for fretting about details when I have a lot of plates spinning, and Tim is the one who gently uncurls my clenched fingers. Maybe that’s why I find crocheting so relaxing. It keeps my hands occupied, my mind relaxes and I’m creative at the same time.
When doing tasks like washing up the dishes of an evening, I become aware that my breathing has become shallow and fast, as I think about everything that still needs doing that day. I pause to look outside at the twinkly lights Tim has strung across our fence panels. They draw me outside to stand and watch the trees reaching up against the night sky, to gaze at the stars and the satellites going past and to feel all the birds and squirrels sleeping peacefully by the old railway line.
I made a ‘Horlicks’ of a Welsh village name in a service this week and once I’d done it, I managed to repeat various versions of the ‘Horlicks’ as it cropped up throughout the service. We reached the part of the ceremony where I had written about a dear lady’s strength and fortitude and how that had carried her through life’s ups and downs. I linked her achievements to the ebb and flow of nature and I found my voice slowing down as I told a story about rabbits building their nests in the spring. I looked out to see us all pausing and breathing more deeply.
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I have started ‘Thoughtful Tuesday’ where I will be posting an audio file each week. It is behind a paywall, and rather than disturb your peace and quiet, I chose not to email it to my free subscribers. If you would like a taste of what I have started to do, then please send me a message and I can email you a file to listen to as a gift.
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May we all help each other to nurture our quiet moments and each other.
My love to you all, Jane x
I have never had an occasion where stressing over something ever led to the something getting solved. Lovely post this week, Jane
A beautiful post, Jane, and I love the quote about stress. The rocking chair makes a great metaphor and speaks the truth. I understand about fretting, and honestly, this January has been one heck of a month in so many ways. We celebrated our 36th anniversary, which was wonderful. But everything else was tragic or appalling and enough to cause sleepless nights. I like what crocheting does for you, and that's what reading and writing does for me. Thinking of you both and wishing you both a lovely weekend ahead. Sending love and hugs. xoxo